Wednesday, March 26, 2014


You guys, we’ve been busy. Like, work all day and then come home and work until midnight every night busy.

What started out as a quick little bathroom remodel has turned into a complete, gut the bathroom remodel. And painting/furnishing the extra bedroom that we’ve never used. And redoing the kitchen backsplash. And redoing the kitchen cabinets. And while we’re at it, the cabinets in the other two bathrooms. Oh, and replacing carpet in the living room with hardwood. And updating the fireplace mantle. And painting all the door and window casing (and all the doors) white. In the entire house. And upgrading the crappy orange oak baseboards to nice, new, taller white baseboards. In the entire house.

I think that’s it. God, I hope that’s it.

We are terrible at taking things slowly, so we started all of these projects at once. Our house has been a construction zone basically since mid-January. Nothing is completely finished. There are some things that aren’t even started. (Yep, the bathroom -- the project that started it all -- we’re still in the design stages there.)

We’ve been working and working and working, and feeling like nothing is really getting accomplished. But just when I was starting to feel like we’d be sanding and painting until we retired, I started to notice the change. I’m starting to see glimpses, tiny little peeks, at just how great it’s all going to be when we’re done. Things are s l o w l y coming together and there are beautiful little spots where the light hits just right and I think, Woah, this is really happening.

Our hope with this project (these many, many projects) was to create a home that was brighter, more modern, and more to our taste. We’re going to be here awhile, so why not really love the space we’re living in?

I’m not going to say it has all been sunshine and roses. My husband and I have very different approaches to home projects and we have had our fair share of spats, disagreements, all out fights, and hurt feelings. I’ll be the first to admit I was building up a hefty little store of resentment and anger throughout this process. But then Ryan said something to me the other day that completely changed the way I’ve been looking at this.

I’m doing all of this for you, so you’re happy in our home. I just want to make you happy.

Well, that just about did me in right then and there.

He’s picky about brush strokes showing and paint dribbles because he wants it to look as nice and professionally done as possible. For me.

He’s working himself to the bone because he wants to create a home that I love. For me.

We bought 14 paint samples for the guest room because he wants it to be perfect. For me.

He’s doing all of this for me. I guess you could say it’s his love language.

It finally hit me - I’ve been selfish. Yes, I haven’t had time to knit or bake or putter around the house hardly at all. Yes, I’m irritated that I can’t sit down at the dining room table because we’re using it as a staging area for painting. But this guy has been working almost every single night and weekend. The least I could do is shut up about having to go to Home Depot for the third time that day. I’m really trying harder to show how truly grateful I am for all of his work. For his efforts. For everything he does for me. I’m trying to show up, jump in, and be more helpful. For him, because he does so much for me.